Cops brought an end to one man’s violence by serving him Dairy Queen, and celebrities are up in arms about a gas station dinosaur. Delivery people are stealing merch left and right, and Americans are feeling really good about marijuana. Nasa is planning to build livable quarters on the moon with material already found up there. What would you do if a workmate hugged you every time they see you? Heidi Klum has boob hair, and proud of it, and a gorilla slammed into a glass viewing wall and cracked it. What TV show never had a bad season, and young and old people are now renting homes together. I give you the latest on Halloween this season, and you’ll be pleasantly surprised how a former stripper is now making a living. Hey, we all have to make a living some way! Hop aboard.

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The best man at a wedding was never told he shouldn’t shoot anyone, and be careful of chat GPT; it apparently remembers what you talk about. What’s a skill everybody should learn, and how much do you think you need to retire? You may be shocked. Would you like to skip heavy traffic? Can you say flying taxis? A cow showed up in the median of a busy freeway, and no one can figure out how he got there. People are no longer hooking up for sexy romps, and the reason is a clear sign of the times. The color of your car may be attracting birds to take a dump on it, plus learn how not to decorate your house for Halloween. Scientists have woken something up that’s been sleeping for forty thousand years. That doesn’t seem like the best idea, does it? Plus, an alligator walked into a bar, and yes, it was in Florida. We’re clearly busy today, so let’s get started.

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The world’s largest great white shark breezed past swimmers in North Carolina, and a couple decides to divorce because their dog and cat couldn’t get along. I can clearly see that! JK Rowling is pissed off at Emma Watson, and lets her have it on social media, plus a guy was arrested doing 107 mph because he had to get to his barber appointment, which makes complete sense. You want to sell your fingernail clippings? Because China is buying, and I’m all in. Americans are cooling it on college saying it’s a waste of time and money, and Halloween is in trouble because Americans are saying it’s too expensive. I say pick one. And what are the best candies to hand out on Halloween? PETA is calling for a teacher to resign because of what she did to a new born kitten in front of her class, and that one is hard to hear. Florida comes through in a big way with a guy who presents a live alligator in court as his attorney. The crazies are clearly here, and that includes me.

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Lots of good crap today. Example; A school administrator stole an ATM machine without his wife’s permission, and a mere skateboard sold at auction for millions. Cool Stories In Music pulls back the layers of Levi Stubbs career, and what would happen if you drove a tiny Barbie car in real traffic while drunk? This dude found out. The five activities that are banned in space, and a wannabe bride does a stupid thing, or did she? Marjorie is the latest hot craze name for your newborn child, and there’s a reason, plus I give you the top 10 one hit wonders. She did something because she thought it was really sweet. He didn’t! An Ohio school teacher was fired because he stole 14 lawnmowers, and you can now purchase the actual house from the Conjuring. Anybody? Push play so the haunting can begin!

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A woman sued and won because her work mate kept rolling her eyes at her, and the new iPhone 17 has a bit of a problem. A single Pokémon card just sold for millions, and people are dropping their subscriptions to streaming services in droves. Prenups in marriage are very popular now, and they say the high divorce rate is a myth, and I say bullshit! An arriving plane couldn’t land because the traffic controller had fallen asleep, and what’s something you secretly judge someone for? Thinking about a do-it-yourself home project with your spouse? Don’t! What really stresses out most people at work? Hint, it’s not the job, and how would you like to see commercials on your refrigerator every morning? Why would someone send a package containing a pair of woman’s shoes to an island where only cows lived, and with that in mind; monkeys like to get drunk. Lastly, a car was pulled over and the woman in the car blamed the driving on her husband, but she was the only one in the car. Let’s light this candle!

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Ellen DeGeneres is being sued and I’m not sure anyone cares. A guy owed a cruise ship a ton of money from gambling losses, so he jumped ship. Ladies, what did you not know about men until you started living with one? Men are more loyal to their barbers than their wives, and the cost of raising kids is out of control. Some states are taking control of your thermostat, which is scary, and did you know some airline pilots take naps during flights? I’m not kidding, and guess what the number one day of the year on which the most people are born, and there is a good reason for it. The top 5 happiest states in the US and I give you the most expensive Lego set ever put on sale. I share an easy way to get rid of anxiety, and I saved the best for last; she didn’t like her husband so she tried to kill him, twice. How can you not?

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