Astronauts will soon be eating food made from their own urine, and I’m not kidding. Bob Ross original paintings have sold for big money, and good news if you’re bald, someone thinks they’ve figured it out. Have you tried the Scandinavian sleep method? Me either, but it seems to make sense. Why are there kangaroos in the road, and how did they get there. Have you ever cried at work? You may be surprised how many have. You ever been pissed off at the supermarket? Hopefully you didn’t do what this person did. Elton John threw another bitch fit in front of everybody back stage at a show, and is a forehead kiss the sign of a breakup? A woman was driving 107 mph because she had to get to the pizza place before they closed. It’s hard to believe what a guy will do to get out of going to the mall with his wife, but I support him. Plus, I give you tips on how to survive Thanksgiving. Join us and gobble it up.

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It’s not against the law to throw a sandwich at someone, judge said, and some people are spending hours in their shower but experts are saying you shouldn’t do that. We venture into the world of Cool Stories In Music, and what is a rule society follows that makes no sense to you? And allow me to introduce you to the world’s longest married couple. Tom Brady had his long-lost favorite dog cloned by a company that he himself owns. Is that legal? I give you the top eight favorite sandwiches and that should make your day, plus, what’s something you wish your partner would do without you asking them to? Here’s a shocker; cash money is close to coming to an end. The divorce rate is at its all-time lowest and so is getting married. And my favorite, a superior court judge took a piss outside in full view of the public, and that judge is a female! The world can be a beautiful place.

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A guy stood up a date so she set his house on fire, and a naked guy ran through Walmart and yes drugs were involved. How odd. Your local movie theater has never been in this bad of shape, and guess which city has the most rats? It ain’t New York. A Florida teacher showed up to class high on cocaine and it got worse from there, plus if you marry on a holiday, your marriage is cursed. Shit got weird at an Illinois McDonalds and gun play was involved, and even worse, a guy willingly paid alimony for his cats, and he was fine with it. A guy was eating a bag of Doritos and the cops were alerted, and that’s not a joke, plus a guy destroyed eighty pumpkins for no reason and yes, it was in Florida. 70-year-old Kelsey Grammer just had his 8th kid with his 4th wife, plus Kim Kardashian thinks the moon landing was a hoax. Cows apparently love jazz music and give more milk and finally, 21 monkeys are on the loose, so beware! Its amazing how shit gets stranger every week. How can that be?

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Today, the scary is everywhere! A man threw his own funeral and he wasn’t dead, plus a blind man in Italy received state benefits for 50 years, problem for him is that he wasn’t actually blind. A restaurant in Washington has a strict no phones policy, and people are loving it. Something appears to be up with Britney Spears and it doesn’t seem good. Francis Ford Coppola is broke, as in no money, and AI could soon be assisting NFL refs. Early to bed and early to rise isn’t necessarily a good thing, and as odd as it may sound, people are being warned they shouldn’t lick the toads. Three women were arrested because their underwear had $650,000 worth of gold in them, and Valentine’s Day is not the loneliest day of the year for singles; Halloween is! Today is our Halloween Spooktacular and it’s a complete waste of your time. That I promise.

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Cops brought an end to one man’s violence by serving him Dairy Queen, and celebrities are up in arms about a gas station dinosaur. Delivery people are stealing merch left and right, and Americans are feeling really good about marijuana. Nasa is planning to build livable quarters on the moon with material already found up there. What would you do if a workmate hugged you every time they see you? Heidi Klum has boob hair, and proud of it, and a gorilla slammed into a glass viewing wall and cracked it. What TV show never had a bad season, and young and old people are now renting homes together. I give you the latest on Halloween this season, and you’ll be pleasantly surprised how a former stripper is now making a living. Hey, we all have to make a living some way! Hop aboard.

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The best man at a wedding was never told he shouldn’t shoot anyone, and be careful of chat GPT; it apparently remembers what you talk about. What’s a skill everybody should learn, and how much do you think you need to retire? You may be shocked. Would you like to skip heavy traffic? Can you say flying taxis? A cow showed up in the median of a busy freeway, and no one can figure out how he got there. People are no longer hooking up for sexy romps, and the reason is a clear sign of the times. The color of your car may be attracting birds to take a dump on it, plus learn how not to decorate your house for Halloween. Scientists have woken something up that’s been sleeping for forty thousand years. That doesn’t seem like the best idea, does it? Plus, an alligator walked into a bar, and yes, it was in Florida. We’re clearly busy today, so let’s get started.

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