Today, the scary is everywhere! A man threw his own funeral and he wasn’t dead, plus a blind man in Italy received state benefits for 50 years, problem for him is that he wasn’t actually blind. A restaurant in Washington has a strict no phones policy, and people are loving it. Something appears to be up with Britney Spears and it doesn’t seem good. Francis Ford Coppola is broke, as in no money, and AI could soon be assisting NFL refs. Early to bed and early to rise isn’t necessarily a good thing, and as odd as it may sound, people are being warned they shouldn’t lick the toads. Three women were arrested because their underwear had $650,000 worth of gold in them, and Valentine’s Day is not the loneliest day of the year for singles; Halloween is! Today is our Halloween Spooktacular and it’s a complete waste of your time. That I promise.

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Cops brought an end to one man’s violence by serving him Dairy Queen, and celebrities are up in arms about a gas station dinosaur. Delivery people are stealing merch left and right, and Americans are feeling really good about marijuana. Nasa is planning to build livable quarters on the moon with material already found up there. What would you do if a workmate hugged you every time they see you? Heidi Klum has boob hair, and proud of it, and a gorilla slammed into a glass viewing wall and cracked it. What TV show never had a bad season, and young and old people are now renting homes together. I give you the latest on Halloween this season, and you’ll be pleasantly surprised how a former stripper is now making a living. Hey, we all have to make a living some way! Hop aboard.

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The best man at a wedding was never told he shouldn’t shoot anyone, and be careful of chat GPT; it apparently remembers what you talk about. What’s a skill everybody should learn, and how much do you think you need to retire? You may be shocked. Would you like to skip heavy traffic? Can you say flying taxis? A cow showed up in the median of a busy freeway, and no one can figure out how he got there. People are no longer hooking up for sexy romps, and the reason is a clear sign of the times. The color of your car may be attracting birds to take a dump on it, plus learn how not to decorate your house for Halloween. Scientists have woken something up that’s been sleeping for forty thousand years. That doesn’t seem like the best idea, does it? Plus, an alligator walked into a bar, and yes, it was in Florida. We’re clearly busy today, so let’s get started.

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The world’s largest great white shark breezed past swimmers in North Carolina, and a couple decides to divorce because their dog and cat couldn’t get along. I can clearly see that! JK Rowling is pissed off at Emma Watson, and lets her have it on social media, plus a guy was arrested doing 107 mph because he had to get to his barber appointment, which makes complete sense. You want to sell your fingernail clippings? Because China is buying, and I’m all in. Americans are cooling it on college saying it’s a waste of time and money, and Halloween is in trouble because Americans are saying it’s too expensive. I say pick one. And what are the best candies to hand out on Halloween? PETA is calling for a teacher to resign because of what she did to a new born kitten in front of her class, and that one is hard to hear. Florida comes through in a big way with a guy who presents a live alligator in court as his attorney. The crazies are clearly here, and that includes me.

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Lots of good crap today. Example; A school administrator stole an ATM machine without his wife’s permission, and a mere skateboard sold at auction for millions. Cool Stories In Music pulls back the layers of Levi Stubbs career, and what would happen if you drove a tiny Barbie car in real traffic while drunk? This dude found out. The five activities that are banned in space, and a wannabe bride does a stupid thing, or did she? Marjorie is the latest hot craze name for your newborn child, and there’s a reason, plus I give you the top 10 one hit wonders. She did something because she thought it was really sweet. He didn’t! An Ohio school teacher was fired because he stole 14 lawnmowers, and you can now purchase the actual house from the Conjuring. Anybody? Push play so the haunting can begin!

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A woman sued and won because her work mate kept rolling her eyes at her, and the new iPhone 17 has a bit of a problem. A single Pokémon card just sold for millions, and people are dropping their subscriptions to streaming services in droves. Prenups in marriage are very popular now, and they say the high divorce rate is a myth, and I say bullshit! An arriving plane couldn’t land because the traffic controller had fallen asleep, and what’s something you secretly judge someone for? Thinking about a do-it-yourself home project with your spouse? Don’t! What really stresses out most people at work? Hint, it’s not the job, and how would you like to see commercials on your refrigerator every morning? Why would someone send a package containing a pair of woman’s shoes to an island where only cows lived, and with that in mind; monkeys like to get drunk. Lastly, a car was pulled over and the woman in the car blamed the driving on her husband, but she was the only one in the car. Let’s light this candle!

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Ellen DeGeneres is being sued and I’m not sure anyone cares. A guy owed a cruise ship a ton of money from gambling losses, so he jumped ship. Ladies, what did you not know about men until you started living with one? Men are more loyal to their barbers than their wives, and the cost of raising kids is out of control. Some states are taking control of your thermostat, which is scary, and did you know some airline pilots take naps during flights? I’m not kidding, and guess what the number one day of the year on which the most people are born, and there is a good reason for it. The top 5 happiest states in the US and I give you the most expensive Lego set ever put on sale. I share an easy way to get rid of anxiety, and I saved the best for last; she didn’t like her husband so she tried to kill him, twice. How can you not?

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Guess what a Florida puppy store hired to attract customers? I give you the latest on Taylor Swift doing the Super Bowl, and are you a part of the foldable phone craze? More songs you’re embarrassed to admit that you love, and out of all generations, guess which one is the unhappiest? A Florida guy got arrested simply because he wanted to smell a woman’s feet, and what are scientists now saying about so-called astrologers? In what part of the country are the unhappiest couples found, and how would you feel if you were woken up in the middle of the night by a four-hundred-pound drunk guy who was completely naked and a stranger to you? And Darth Vader’s original light saber has sold at auction for crazy money. Details on this and more are yours, today, on What You Do!

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You’ll never look at a cucumber the same way, and that’s a promise! Apparently, the Cincinnati Bengals are super cheap on every possible level, and would you give your pet to a local zoo to be fed to the lions and tigers? This lady did. I give you the top 3 most stolen cars, and did you know that AOL and its dial up internet still exists? A Florida man threatened a landscaper with a twelve-inch knife while wearing a jester outfit, plus, is there anything you have aged out of? Walmart is doing a great thing for you if you own an EV car, and Americans are sick of tipping. Plus, the butt sniffer is back, so be careful if you live in Burbank. Let’s light this candle.

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What’s a guy to do when an ex-lover totals his car because she’s pissed at him? You got millions of dollars and want to live in luxury? Then I’ll share the 5 most expensive zip codes in America. A new world record has been set for holding his breath, and a guy went to the doctor complaining of chest pain; you’ll never guess what they found. Guess what broke into a family’s home, and there were eight of them, plus I reveal the best time for you to go to bed. Discover what guys are now spending large amounts of money on, and it isn’t legal in the US. And we wrap it up with a guy who has an uncontrollable fetish and he’s in jail for it. Another day, another show. How can you not?

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